3 Toxic Traits I Had When First Starting a Clothing Brand
When I first started building Damascus and then Neo4ic, I had passion, drive, and a clear vision. I also had immature blind spots that slowed me down and burned me out.
These are the three toxic traits I carried early on. If you're building a brand, business or music career, learn from my mistakes before they cost you years of momentum. ( As they did me )
1: I Tied My Self Worth To How People Responded To My Brand
During the years of my first brand, Damascus, I spent two months designing a five-piece collection that was based on the intelligence modalities of human beings. I've always loved psychology and sociology and thought it would be rad to design a shirt that someone could buy that would represent who they were at their core. I poured everything into those shirts. The research, the iconography, the layout, the small details only someone who actually paid attention would notice. I loved every minute of putting the art together and I thought other people would love the result.
Release day came. Nothing sold.
Not a single unit moved. The silence was deafening. I sat there staring at the screen, refreshing the page like something would change. It didn't. That moment crushed me because I had built my entire sense of self around whether people got what I made. This happened often in the beginning. I treated every metric like a referendum on my existence. If something underperformed, I internalized it as proof I wasn't good enough. I used it as a really toxic fuel to keep going and try and get better. If something did well, I felt validated for a little bit before the fear crept back in. I was so hungry for approval.
Not only is that mindset poison, it's where creativity goes to die.
A clothing brand is not therapy. Being a DJ shouldn't be a popularity contest. It is the ability to create what you love, send it into the world, and keep going regardless of how it lands. The work is the reward. The creation is the point. When something resonates and people connect with it, that feels good. It should. But that external validation has nothing to do with your intrinsic value as a person. Human reception is 'a' reward, but not 'the' reward.
Your brand is a product you are building. It is not your soul. It is not your identity. When we attach our worth to outcomes, we start making emotional decisions instead of strategic ones. When our value is attached to the approval of others, we get desperate. We overreact to feedback. We chase trends because we need approval. We lose clarity because our ego is in the driver chair and is bleeding into every choice we make.
Separate who you are from what you create. Your value does not rise or fall based on a Shopify dashboard or how your friends comment on your post or how much praise you get at the club. That feeling is insatiable and will scale with everything you do. I promise. The moment you understand that, you can stop trying to hit a target that never stops moving and you start building from a place of love and for long term consistency.
2. I Focused On The Wrong Work
In the beginning, I obsessed over the rules, the 'right way to do things', tools, platforms, business mechanics, etc. I spent so much time setting up stuff that didn't matter. Getting the LLC. Filing permits. A cool website. Setting up social media accounts. Networking. It all made me feel productive, like I was doing real work.
None of it actually mattered. ( seriously )
The truth is brutally simple.
Setting things up is easy.
Anyone can launch a Shopify store in a weekend. Anyone can get an LLC, connect a payment processor, set up Instagram, buy a URL. These are the things people celebrate because they are visible and they feel like progress. But they are administrative tasks disguised as entrepreneurship.
What is actually difficult is making something people desire.
It is very hard to produce a hit song. It is very hard to shoot beautiful photos that carry impact and virality. It is very hard to design a garment that makes someone stop scrolling, click, and feel something real. It is very hard to program a useful app. These are the things that matter. These are the things that should consume your time every single day.
If you're a DJ, you don't need to be in the nightclub to 'network', you don't need a new logo or some new merch....you need a hit song.
If you want a clothing brand, you don't screen printing equipment or a brand new camera, you need to design...every. single. day.
If the product is elite, everything else falls into place. People share it. Word spreads.
Growth becomes organic. But if you avoid the hard work of creation and hide behind systems and software, none of it matters. How you appear to people doesn't matter, your ability to authentically express yourself and create every single day without distractions is what matters.
You can have the cleanest site, the best ideas, the most polished branding deck, but if the product is average or inconsistent, you literally have nothing.
A great product solves more problems than any marketing strategy or viral post ever will. You win by obsessing over fits, fabrics, comfort, silhouette, technical details, print quality, durability and storytelling. The small things that separate good from unforgettable.
If you want long term success, spend every single day working on the product. Make it undeniable. Everything else takes away from what's actually important.
3. I Neglected My Health And Paid The Price
I thought I could just work. I thought discipline meant pushing through exhaustion.
Skipping sleep. Eating whatever was fast. Ignoring the signs my body was giving me. On the weekends, I'd go out to the clubs, 'work hard play hard', drink, try to blow off steam. I was spending time with all the wrong people.
I told myself I deserved it. I told myself it was balance.
It wasn't balance. It was slow erosion. It's decay. It's where your dreams go to die a slow, painful death.
Burnout is real. Working nonstop, day after day, without recovery, is how I fell down and it actually softens your work. The quality starts to diminish. The ideas become harder to access. The motivation fades. Partying every weekend wore away at me slowly, in ways I didn't notice until it was too late. My focus dulled. My creativity stalled. I became inconsistent, reactive, sluggish.
I didn't realize that to produce things the world hasn't seen, it requires sacrifice and discipline. No one does it easily.
A clothing brand is not a short sprint. It is a multi-year endurance race. If your health collapses, your discipline collapses. When your discipline collapses, your brand collapses.
You cannot build something great if you are running on fumes. You cannot think clearly, create boldly, deal with the pressure, make the right decisions or execute consistently if your body isn't nourished.
A strong routine and a physical hobby would have changed the trajectory and timing of my business. It would have expedited alot.
The clarity I gained from training. The mental sharpness from proper sleep. The sustained energy from eating like someone who actually wanted a future. These things are not optional. They are foundational.
Take your health seriously. Sleep like your creativity depends on it, because it does. Hydrate. Train your body so your mind stays sharp. Eat like someone who wants to build something that lasts. That is how you stay in the game long enough to win and weather the storms. ( Because they are SURE to come. )
Final Thought
We don't need a perfect plan. We need the right mindset, goals and habits.
Build your identity on something deeper than business results. Focus on your product until it is undeniable. Prioritize your health so you stay in the game long enough to win.
The work is long. The audience is fickle. The outcome is uncertain. But if you can separate your worth from the crowd, focus on what actually matters, and treat your body like the tool it is, you will eventually succeed and outlast everyone who burns out chasing validation.
